Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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