it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
