There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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