I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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