I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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