i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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