Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
