Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
