You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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