I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
