K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
