went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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