she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize