is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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