So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
