He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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