We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
