Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize