i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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