Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize