Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
