Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
