fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We are all done wearing pants today
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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