Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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