Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
