Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
