i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
