grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
