if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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