Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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