I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
