But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
