My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
