we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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