What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
