do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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