Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it was like having sex with a tree stump
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
