New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
