I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The power of my boobs compel you
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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