Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
