are you so shy because you have an std?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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