Dual....:-)
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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