i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
