i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
