Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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