i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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