NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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