Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
