i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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