could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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