Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
