New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Randomize
