Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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