4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize