Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize