You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
