This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
