The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
