if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
