WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
