I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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